love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
