sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize