What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
