Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
