I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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