we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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