Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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