you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
