I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
