It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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