now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize