Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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