Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
