I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
