You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
