i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
