I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
