is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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