he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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