peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
