it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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