your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
