Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
