I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
