sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
