Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
