break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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