too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Randomize