My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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