First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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