We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
