i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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