If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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