Swine flu. Run for my life!
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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