if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
