She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
