Sry I called you an 8
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
