Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
this will be a night to untag.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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