Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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