Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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