I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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