I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
All the doctor said was why
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
