I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize