I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
