Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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