i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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