we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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