Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
