Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
