Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
