just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
