I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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