I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
No subtext here. People are naked.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
