is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
