bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
