i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
