i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
it's like heaven, but drunker
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
