How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
