dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
