So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
