My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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