So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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