Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
