i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
