So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Who died my cat blue again?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
