I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
