Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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